To our wonderful friends:

We ask your forgiveness for our lack of updates since heading to court.  As you probably already suspect, we are still waiting for Court decisions to be entered and felt we must respect the court as we await the orders.  Obviously, we don't want to wait another minute after reading your many concerns, but realize this note may be our last one.  That is a scary thought for our family in light of the power your prayers have provided for our injured angel, her son and our entire family.  It feels terribly like letting go of a life force...and the true champions who interceded with God on our behalf for the miracles we are able to see every day.  Each one of us realize it was against so many odds.  We will never let you go...and we hope you will continue to hold on to her (to all of us) as well.

 Just today, our cousin wrote:

"I petitioned for God's comfort, mercy, and will for a part of my family that was in great need.  I got back so much more than I gave in reading about His answers to those petitions...." 

We can't even tell you how hard it has been to see your notes and not respond.  But again, we felt we must be respectful of the court and still do.  We knew you would understand once enlightened of the situation. That said, we expect to hear from the Judge tomorrow regarding our summer and can not wait another minute to tell you all is OK.

Hillary is doing great and continues to improve every day as her very proud medical team was happy to report recently.  She is out and about as often as possible, yet it is often not enough for her.  She was in hospitals and then at home for so long, getting out with her family and friends makes her feel like she is "in the real world" and a little more back to reality as she remembers it.  We have to admit she is beginning to grieve for her former self.  Remember when we were in McDonald's and met the beautiful young Brittany from Indiana who had experienced a traumatic brain injury?  She stated the hardest part of her journey was the mourning she endured as she realized she might not completely "return to herself" once at the end of her recovery.  We have such greater understanding of what Hillary is feeling and trying to describe to us having met Brittany and hearing her own heartbreak and challenges of the recovery process.

But still, every day is absolutely better here!

Hillary is climbing our full staircase multiple times per day in preparation for her weekend with her sisters and BSILE and Josh in Nashville while Paul and I celebrate our anniversary.  I don't know which one of us is the most excited as we count down the hours before hitting our separate trails.  This week, Ashley called Hillary and Big Sis had absolutely no idea who she was speaking with until Hillary actually repeated herself.  (It was pretty clear then it would have to be me or Hillary once repetition entered the picture)  All of our girls sound so much alike, and Ashley said, "...it was her voice inflection.  It was incredible because she had more 'Hillary animation' in her voice!"

We hope we will be able to let you hear from her very soon.  She is dying to say "Thank you" and we hope we might be able to post a video message from her to you within the next few days.  Please know why if she does not.

Thank you again from the bottom of our hearts:  First, for your fervent prayers and support...and secondly, for your understanding in the last few days. 

XOXOX

--Shawn

PS--Hillary's email is hilltharp@hotmail.com.  She would LOVE to hear from you!  You may get the same message more than once until she can build the footprints for each note to tell her she has completed that process, but we know you will understand when that happens.

 

Tomorrow is an important day for Mommy and Max...although what day isn't?

There is so much to tell as we received the latest updates from Hillary's therapists including her progress in occupational, speech and physical therapy this week.  There is very little left of brain injury "tone" except her wrist and thumb and most of her physical challenges (her left arm) are due to her physical injury....still in an aggressively healing mode.  But tonight we are all preparing for another important day for our family on different venues, and we ask your prayers for God's will and guidance for the best possible decisions for those who are empowered to do just that. 

BSILE is here tonight and as he said "Good night" to his sweet sister-in-law, he came back in the living room and said, "It hit me when I said good night to her.......'Honey, we almost never got to do that again'."  What a perfect thing for him to say tonight....and a perfect reminder of why tomorrow must happen.  Like it or not....if not for miracles we wouldn't be heading to a forum for difficult decisions about Max.  It is never fun to navigate unchartered waters on any front...but particularly in the courtroom.  But thanks be to God  we can navigate our way through the process, and at the end of the day,our daughter is alive and here with us and she will be able to hug Max the next time she sees him; no matter when that day comes.  And if miracles hadn't happened and our girl hadn't survived, its likely none of us would have been with Max at all.  So whatever tomorrow's outcome....one thing is sure:  Very soon, we will be laughing and screaming and hugging and swimming and jumping off of the back of an ugly old houseboat in the best waters we know... Kentucky Lake.  And Max will be there....and so will our Hillary.  

Thanks for your prayers tomorrow....and every day.

XOXOX

--Shawn

It was "Sarah Day" yesterday around here.

It's obvious it is getting more challenging to keep you posted on Hillary's progress.  The days between updates are getting longer and longer as Hillary's social calendar becomes "fully loaded".  And my apologies up front for any repeated information on her progress as there is no time for looking back)  We hope to take in a movie with our friends today-- though she is very tired from "Sarah Day". 

So first a quick update:

Hillary is no longer going to be in physical therapy three times a week.  Her therapist, Hope has determined with the amount Hillary walks at home the three day schedule is just no longer necessary moving her down for now to two days and soon to only one.  We expect them to work a bit on swimming this week to be sure Hillary can enjoy fun in the sun, but for the most part, her time with PT will be for e-stem and learning exercises Hillary can manage for herself as she finishes her recovery process.

She probably could have been walking more from the beginning if we'd only used a garden hose.  Apparently all it takes to move our girl to the next level of progress (literally level) is a downpour and she's willing to climb mountains to avoid getting drenched.  Last week Hillary and her dad had been downstairs when it was time to head to the main floor for dinner.  Now Hillary can access every corner of our home, but to move from one floor to the next she has to go outside to access the opposite level.  As Paul opened the door to take her out and up, they looked at each other, both deciding it was time to find a better way in light of the heavy rain in front of them.  At the bottom of our L-shaped staircase, Hillary grabbed the handrail with her right arm and advanced each step with her left leg (yes, her left leg!!!!) and made it to the top.  She had climbed another mountain to independence and I could hear the sounds of victory and feel them both beaming as they shared their news on the phone with me.

And though that milestone was thrilling, perhaps the more important benchmark for her was the news that came from her Occupational Therapist, Katherine Meueller.  There are three movements one must make with their hand and fingers to naturally pick up something.  Hillary successfully proved her ability to master all three this week.  ZOOM ZOOM!!!!

And now to Sarah Day: 

I remember the moments Hillary's two Sarahs shared their news with her and the importance of their friend's presence in their exciting upcoming celebrations of love.  The first was Sarah Adams-- one of Hillary's childhood best friends.  I believe Hillary was in Cardinal Hill (if not in Vanderbilt) when Sarah shared the news of her pregnancy with Hillary.  Sarah told Hillary how much she needed her to get well and to help her with advice and assurance along the way.  At the time, Hillary was unable to talk and  deep in my soul I prayed, "Oh God, let her be well enough to be aware of that baby's birth and the sweetness of friendship."  And later, very soon after Hillary returned home, it was Sarah Rottering and her fiance Justin who announced their wedding plans to Hillary while she still spent much of her time in her veil bed.  Hillary--Part One--would have shouted her excitement to the world if she had heard such news before the accident--having thought Justin and Sarah were perfect for each other.  Again, I prayed she would be able to be there for their wedding day; all the while holding my breath that she might not ever make it there as she refused to eat and began slipping deeper away from us. 

I am happy to report "Sarah Day" wore our girl out having first attended Sarah's baby shower for her soon to arrive daughter, Bianca---and in the evening/, with all of her colleagues from the shop (and many other friends), our girl attended the wedding of Sarah and Justin.  She had a wonderful time!  Our blessings are more abundant than we deserve. 

So until the "Sarahs" can post their pictures from the big day for all of us, above are some more of our abundant blessings.  Happy day after "Sarah Day"....and thank you for your prayers to The One who gave our injured angel the chance to be there.  We are eternally grateful.

XOXOX

--Shawn

 

It has been a week of "Ordinary Miracles"...the very best kind.

I don't know that we should call anything Hillary does an ordinary miracle. We heard over and over again this week just how extraordinary a miracle she really is considering the enormity of the trauma she has survived.  But it truly isthe everyday ordinary miracles that mean the most to us as we watch Hillary robustly embracing life again.  And as you can imagine my eyes are swollen from so many happy moments as the beautiful and unforgettable ordinary miracles unfolded.

As with everyone who heads out of town for a couple of days, there were last minute things to complete before Hillary and I hit the road for our long awaited girl trip; not the least of these was the Botox injection planned for her left arm.  Sammie had taken her to her appointment with Dr. Rommelman, while I completed other tasks for work.  Of course, I called to see how things had gone when Sammie said, “It was awful!  Don’t ever make me go through that again.”  My heart dropped fearing something had gone badly with the injection; perhaps an allergic reaction or who knows what.  But Sammie went on to explain Hillary began crying and ultimately sobbing during the injection. And she had not stopped now--over forty minutes later.  My first response was, “Real tears?!?!?”  Sammie said, “Buckets full and they are rolling down her cheeks even now.”  (I thought “ZOOM ZOOM!”)  As I spoke with Hillary on the phone she was undeniably bawling and it was truly the most bittersweet experience of my life.  How long we had waited to see that emotion in our injured angel.  As I held her on the phone we called the whole family so they could hear this ordinary (extraordinary) miracle.  When she arrived I hugged and kissed her as she began crying again and this time telling everything she had bottled up inside her soul.  She sobbed about being in a wheelchair, not having her son, missing her independence and much more.  It was truly like the flood gates had opened and it all came out.  She was somewhat puzzled by my deeply sympathetic smile and joyful embraces but in the end she “got it” that her brain is continuously rebuilding its circuitry and it had finally connected the emotion every one needs of tears.  In nearly nine months Hillary had endured some the worst kind of pain any human could endure…both physical pain and emotional pain.  And yet her injury had prevented the greatest defense mechanism we can have for such pain……tears.  As my friend John says, “Big exhale.” 

Early that evening these two travelers finally headed out on our journey with no absolute destination for the night. I had been running around like a crazy person all day and Paul just looked at Hillary with his calming smile and said, “Honey….please take care of your mother.”  She said, “Oh…I thought you were going to say you wanted her to take care of me.”  She promised to try her best (surely knowing it wasn’t going to be easy), but in the end as we headed out of the driveway she yelled, “We’ll take care of each other!”  ZOOM ZOOM!

We wanted to get down the road so we could be closer to Max’s 10 AM (EDT) performance, but with our early evening departure we weren’t sure just how far we could make it.  We decided a fix at McDonald’s before hitting the interstate would be a first start at taking care of each other.  As we made our way through the drive through, we looked back over our shoulder and saw our friend Gretchen a few cars back.  When she pulled up beside our car Gretchen and I said, “%#$@ these fries…it’s all Hillary’s fault!”  There is no telling how many of Hillary’s friends are hooked again on McDonald’s fries from their time with our girl.  Miles later, Paula Keally called and suggested the slight detour to Lexington and an opportunity to return to my second home, might be great reprieve for the night and fairly easy access on to Northern Kentucky the next morning.  Guy had my drink of choice waiting when we arrived and Paula took our girl in her arms and we were really home.  Hillary couldn’t believe I had lived there so many weeks while she began her earliest rehab at Cardinal Hill.  And Paula couldn’t believe her eyes and ears when she saw Hillary. 

The trip had been exhausting and it was much past Hillary’s bedtime (though she insisted she wasn’t sleepy).  I soon remembered the number of Diet Coke’s Hillary had consumed on our way and realized my mistake.  When I checked on her a little later I found her wide awake and perhaps even a little frightened.  She said, “Mom, I really am not sure exactly where we are when you aren’t in here.  I have been trying to sleep and in the darkness I don’t recognize any of my own things.”  As I prompted her with a couple of questions she remembered where we were and why.  I felt so guilty realizing how she must have felt in light of her challenges with amnesia.  And then the word “orientation” spoken so many times by her physicians and therapists began resonating in my mind.  I began worrying about the rest of our days knowing we had two more enormously long road trips left to go.

She awoke with her usual pleasantness and I gave another big exhale, but I could clearly see the toll our miles had taken on her.  She was so tired.  We arrived at Max’s school in scheduled time and Alex had decided to drive up from Louisville to be with us, as well.  Drs. Nicholas and Rommelman had reminded us of the extreme stimulation Hillary would endure as she began trying to process so many unrecognizable faces in a crowd of people she’s never seen and in an unfamiliar place. He had stated her own church visits were going to need to be handled with great care because she is still working through the process of recognizing the people she has known for many years. The one face she absolutely recognized was Max’s as she always has. And as her son pointed his fingers straight to his mother in a song of love, we knew even if it was a moment she forgets, Alex and I pledge to never stop helping her remember.  We were careful to give her a quick chance to say “Thank you” to Max’s teachers and others, and though she was entirely too tired to walk into Max’s classroom as she had hoped, she did address his classmates with heartfelt appreciation.  As she finished she hit the arm of her wheelchair and said, “Wear your seatbelt!”   God love that sweet woman.  (And as Hillary would say, “He does!”)

And then we were off to our next planned leg of our trip: a visit with the staff of Cardinal Hill Rehab.  Of course Hillary felt it was important for a little something like McDonald’s fries and nuggets and I just couldn’t disagree with her feeling on fries. As we made our way back to Lexington she began to slip deeper into exhaustion.  Though I had called Cardinal Hill’s nurses station to postpone, we were forging on; hearing we might miss some of our friends there if we delayed.  I looked at Hillary’s tired sweet eyes and face and thought, “What kind of mother am I and what was I thinking about this trip?”  I felt so guilty in being caught up in the hopes Max had for this day and the promise Hillary wanted to fulfill for her son.  I should have managed both their expectations better.

As we hit Lexington it was me who finally said, “Would you like something to eat?” thinking it might revive her.  She said, “How about a Diet Coke?”  “UGH”, I thought but inwardly weighing my options and finally turning into McDonalds.  As we approached the window the woman gave us her drink and then a sack.  I said, “We didn’t order anything else.”  She said, “No chicken nuggets?”  And Hillary and I began laughing.  The woman tried to give them to us anyway as it had been her mistake, but surprisingly enough, Hillary was not interested in this Chicken McNugget “manna from Heaven” opportunity.

We arrived at Cardinal Hill and I began asking her if she recognized anything.  Of course she didn’t, but I certainly did as I revisited so many places and times in my mind.  We made our way to the brain injury unit and soon it was like being back in my college sorority when someone was “pinned” or engaged.  It truly was another homecoming and Hillary enjoyed every moment of it. So did the rest of us.  Nicole wanted her to keep talking, Jen wanted her to keep walking and Emily was so happy to see her life in her left arm and the many other things she could do with “normal” living.  The excitement and energy (and volume) in that unit was not very “brain injury friendly” but even the patients seemed encouraged by Hillary.  I could remember the moments I wanted Hillary to be as far along or as “well” as another patient might have been in the hallway or on the exercise mat.  It seemed years away at the time and here we are eight plus months later with Hillary’s first Physiatrist, Dr. Walters saying, “She is 180 degrees from where she was when she left.  She’s going to have it all back.”  He went on to say, “Hillary, you just made my week.”  (ZOOM  ZOOM!) 

We also had the opportunity to visit with a young pregnant mother from our area that is fighting through the challenges of an accident much like Hillary’s.  As we entered her room I began speaking to beautiful Stefanie.  I was overwhelmed by the similarity of her injury to Hillary’s injury and “look”.  Though she did not appear to respond a great deal to me, when Hillary began speaking in almost “peer to peer” fashion, this sweet girl began trying to turn her attention to Hillary.  Hillary said, “It is going to be so hard and you have a long road ahead of you but you will make it.  I did.  We are praying for you every day.”  And then something seemed to literally smack Hillary in the face and she began leaving the room as I continued my visit with Stefanie.  God love our friend Norita because she was right there to begin planning the Cardinal Hill reunion on our old houseboat and Hillary began to “breathe well” again. It must have hit so deeply to see exactly how far she had come herself; having dealt with her own issues surrounding her child while facing such overwhelming injuries.  Though it is certainly not the exact same situation, the mothers have so much in common. And your baby is your baby….period!  We pray for the day they might return to Lexington (and Vanderbilt together) to let their own children say “Thank you for their mother’s lives.

When we arrived at Paula’s we sat out on the veranda and tried to relax away our exhaustion.  We were both too far gone and eventually both of us agreed to power nap.  Thank goodness we did because the evening would unfold with even more ordinary miracles.  Once up from our naps Hillary, Paula and I began looking for possible CDs to prompt Hillary’s beautiful singing voice back into action.  We decided on Allison Krauss and just as the first song began its sweet soft melody with words of old friendship, the doorbell rang.  Hillary was determined to walk to the door and open it for her guests. Though they had to wait a bit, she made it and it all became too much for me in the end.  I was crying like a baby and it was those girls, the music and the Keally’s with their open hearts and loving home for us. Life with its ordinary miracles is such a blessing and I was profoundly aware of how much I didn’t deserve it but was so grateful for it.

Soon “Little Paducah” in Lexington was on Paula and Guys’ deck.  Jimmie Patmore and Jane Adams joined some of Hillary’s best girlfriends (and their guys) and it was wonderful to watch from the sidelines.  

Once the evening was over, Paula and I began assisting Hillary as she tried to prepare for bed.  She was utterly and completely exhausted.  Paula insisted I soak in a tub while she and Hillary wound down from the excitement of the evening; knowing Hillary’s state of exhaustion might impact her clarity of memory to her surroundings for the night. When I returned those two sweet women were just quietly lying beside each other in the bed…face to face…solving the world’s problems like any other girlfriends who need to talk about life and love and how to deal with children and all the rest.  It was just another ordinary miracle but beautiful in every way. 

Entirely too early for me, Hillary awoke and remembered we were going to get Max.  As we both put on our makeup and casually dressed ourselves for the long day, we said good-bye to the Keally’s and hit the road to take Max home early from his last day of school in Northern KY.  I was so glad the elementary school staff had been able to see and talk with Hillary because it obviously made them feel so much better for Max and the future.  There were so many well wishes and words of blessings as each one reminded him to visit when he was in the area.  As we left the parking lot Max screamed out the window his own “Goodbyes” and we reminded him of the important friendships he has made in the most difficult of circumstances.  After making our way for a couple of additional “Thank yous” and “Good-byes”, we hit the road for home.  And as though a magic wand hit the top of our car, the exhaustion she had exhibited for three days soon seemed to disappear and Hillary went into “fully loaded Hillary” mode.  Our only explanation is that in some way Hillary must have felt the new sense of things and the freedom our drive with Max seemed to represent.  It didn’t feel like an ordinary miracle when she practiced problem solving on the way home; or when she read an eight grade reading book like it was a first grade “See Spot run” type primer.  When she named all the planets, slipping only on Saturn as she named it something between that and Satan, I wonder how many of us could actually pass the tests of random knowledge and take the physical pain of therapy and, yes, withstand the lack of respect and rights that has been thrust on this woman to prove herself worthy of her son.  (By the way, don’t be embarrassed.  I thought Pluto was a planet, too.)

When we arrived home, the phone was ringing and it was our 10 North Trauma Center Family Waiting Room best friends from West Tennessee.  Joyce had once again been thinking of Hillary and I had been thinking of Wes.  We caught up on Wes’s amazing progress from a second traumatic brain injury, heard all about Angela and Joyce’s retirement from restaurant life and planned to meet soon.  Joyce spoke to Hillary for some time and it was so wonderful to reconnect.  When I hung up the phone Hillary had a look on her face that was so sweet and fun and it was obvious from her expression she was having an “Ah ha” moment.  She said, “I understand why if I’m referring to myself I shouldn’t say “girl”.  I’m a woman!”  Dr. Nicholas says every person who experiences head trauma and begins a successful recovery gets to grow up all over again. We think she has grown up to one of the most wonderful women we’ve ever known.  I think Hillary—Part One—would have been honored to have been considered a friend of Hillary—Part Deux.  In fact, this “new” woman must have been blessed in ways that is going to be difficult for me to describe.  It does not matter what you look like on the outside for Hillary.  She in some way sees what is on the inside of us; finding those who have kindness and goodness of spirit as handsome or beautiful.  But oddly enough, someone she may have found attractive in the past, or maybe another who she had as a distant relationship with that was perhaps less than a kind spirited soul, is no longer attractive to her.  It’s crazy but as Paula says, “It’s like she can see right through you.”  Maybe it is in some way like a child who isn’t clouded by the rest of life’s circumstances.  Whatever it is, the experience is amazing to watch….and so is the journey.

Brittany just walked into our bedroom and said, “You guys she is AMAZING!  It’s my sister in there.  Complete with her smile and her expressions.”  I won’t deceive you; Hillary is still not completely recovered—physically or mentally.  In no way could she go dancing yet or run or handle a million voices at once or a load of questions from any of us in a less than peaceful environment.  I’m not sure she could handle a loud and fast paced movie yet.  But something became so different in her when we arrived home early last evening that I got down on my knees in front of her and right there in our living room I had to thank God humbly for what just seemed to happen to her within hours.  I realized I was thanking God for new clarity and newly improved voice inflection and the way she was joking and so many more new miracles…the ordinary ones we had no doubt taken for granted prior to September 1^st

Max presented us with his own miracle last night when I brought in his mom’s pillow from our trip.  He caressed it and smelled it and then completely captured it; refusing to release his tight grip and give it up.  I said, “Oh Honey, I’m so afraid Mom won’t sleep well without it tonight.  She’s just so tired from our trip and it’s a big weekend coming.”  He said, “Please, please, No!  It smells like her and I want to sleep with it.”  I offered another one to him stating we could take the pillowcase off hers and encase an exact duplicate pillow with it.  He refused that idea graciously but with fortitude.  When Hillary heard our dilemma she said, “Aaaww.  Let him use it.  That’s so sweet.  And then I’ll have his scent on it for me as well.”  Max put himself to bed and was asleep in no more than four or five minutes.  Now that was not an ordinary miracle…that one was extraordinary!

We hope you have a wonderful Memorial Day Weekend with your family.  We feel great about ours learning new ways this week to work around the challenges for Max and for Hillary as they begin surely spending long blocks of time together with school out.  And we’ve found a few additional “must haves” as well.  All of us discovered it was way past time for Max to stop worrying he was going to hurt his mom with his hugs and get back to “Coltharp style hugging.”   We all feel better with that part of our lives finally back to normal!

XOXOX

--Shawn

 

PS--You may want to see our ordinary miracles in "real life" on her video tab

We will be on our way late this afternoon and Mommy, Uncle Alex and YaYa will be there for your program tomorrow. We are very excited. 

I hear every girl needs a little Botox before she hits the road for a vacation, but Hillary nor I think standard treatment for a Botox party is in the arm.  However, that's exactly where our girl is going to get her trendy injection.  Her left arm and hand are really coming to life with the increased e-stem and great OT work from Katherine Mueller.  Therefore, Dr. Rommelman has ordered the small dose of Botox in one area to loosen up the tone she has in her wrist.  Though her movement in the wrist is much better, the treatment should assist in increased leverage capacity.  That said, this weekend she reached to the floor with her left hand and picked up a tissue she had dropped.  Her movement was just automatic which lets us know the brain is really connecting with her hand now.  We can remember the days (weeks/months) her arm was drawn up and incredibly tight.  Now she will open and close her hand and is even working on getting one finger up at a time.  What mother doesn't need that when sending that extra little validation that she is serious about how she feels on a subject?  I've often felt the reason my own index fingernail never grows as well as the rest is because that finger was over exercised as I discovered the benefits of its use when lecturing our four very strong willed kids. Isn't that what toenails have to sacrifice for marathon runners?   Well believe me...my index finger worked overtime raising our clan!

When we watch Hillary respond to emails with one hand --shifting when uppercase letters are needed-- our hearts just break for her.  But then we realize what a blessing it is she is able to type her messages in any form and how happy she is to have that independent forum for connecting with "the real world" (as she calls it). She received one note questioning her ability to respond to notes for herself; giving her all the more incentive for getting those left hand individual fingers moving independently! Though she is not quite ready to point her finger as quickly and as aggressively as she'd like, it is coming with great resolve.  ZOOM ZOOM!

Yesterday Sammie, Hillary and I met with Dr. Nicholas, Neuro Psychologist--and an important professional for every trauma patient.  In proceedings yesterday, I heard Dr. Nicholas referred to as a "Psychiatrist" and though seeing one on a regular basis would be great for any of us if we could afford it, a Neuro Psychologist obviously has a very different role for a trauma survivor. We are especially fortunate to have Dr. Nicholas's expertise and background in rehab; having spent several years in practice at Frazier Rehab Hospital in Louisville.  The exciting part of our visit was that shortly after we arrived Sammie and I were dismissed and Hillary and Dr.Nicholas conducted their first private session; an important piece for allowing Hillary to share her feelings and challenges with the doctor and to ensure her empowerment in taking her life back into her own hands.  As we left, Hillary and her psychologist were talking about an expected time line for when she would be ready to drive again; both acknowledging she is not ready yet, but the time is coming quickly.  ZOOM ZOOM!

I'm sure we will have much to share as we arrive in Northern Kentucky to see Max's final school performance and take him home on his last day of school.  She will have the chance to say "Thank you" to a couple of people she has never met who have been very important in Max's life while he has been away from her.  Then we will head out to Cardinal Hill where she will be able to not only visit with the staff there, but also with families who have loved ones who need the sign of hope our injured angel can offer them.  I will be on conference calls as we travel and Hillary will be listening to her many "new" CDs she has purchased on her shopping excursions with her girlfriends.  She is trying to discover that first one that will bring her beautiful singing voice back to her---to all of us.  She said last night she believes Max will find the music in her with the added flexibility for time together now that school is no longer in session.  Our first chance of increased time together comes this weekend with Memorial Day.  We expect that's just the beginning!

Thank you for your important prayers through this week and every week.  There is no way to describe the strength they give our family.  We've never felt them more than yesterday.

XOXOXO

--Shawn

 

As Mommy says, "I've heard this card a million times but I just have to play it."  (That's some pretty wonderful short term memory.)

We decided to get out early this morning and run our errands before heading back home for yard work and house cleaning.  Hillary had been expecting Max this weekend, and when that didn't work out, we all decided to refocus on home improvement to get ready for our summer weekends at the lake.  As we sat in the corner of McDonald's, (that's right....she's all about McDonald's breakfast, too), Paul saw a smile on the man sitting immediately next to us.  Of course Paul felt like he knew exactly what the man was going to say.  Perfectly normal and happy John had been in a car accident suffering traumatic brain injury years ago. And now, there he was, ready to breathe more life into our beliefs for the beautiful future ahead for Hillary and Max.  We had a million questions... (OK...I had the most)... and on so many levels he was able to put all three of us at peace.  He was able to confirm so many of Hillary's feelings--not only for Paul and me, but more importantly, right to Hillary.  He assured her that so much of what she was experiencing such as the fairly wide spaces of missing memories will continue to flesh out for her; evidenced by how much of the frame work of those memories is swiftly returning now. Having said that, he also reminded each of us there may be blocks of time she never will remember.  Particularly those days--maybe years--closest to the time of her accident.  It was wonderful to sit and talk with John--our newest friend, who only moments ago had been a stranger to our family.  Our time with this kind (and "normal"---I hate that word!) man also illustrated the importance of peer support for trauma families and patients as each of them travel their various paths for recovery.  I wished for Max so he too could have that important validation for his future with his mom and their life together.  We will find John again and let Max have his time for questions with this wonderful man. I hope John is up for even more questions than I can throw out.  When Max gets started with his inquisitions, there is no stopping him.  (Hmmm, maybe he will be an attorney and a LifeFlight pilot. Not a bad combination for a career)

We rarely look back on our journey through Hillablog unless we need the reminder of how far our girl has come in one of our own emotionally down moments.  But last evening we began looking back for different reasons.  We are reviewing videos, pictures, journal notes and logs of daily details around Hillary's journey for very different reasons as she prepares for a big week ahead. There will be important decisions about Max at the first of the week and a very long trip with two back to back exciting meetings at the end of her week.  One part of her trip will allow Hillary the chance to say, "Thank you" to Max's teacher and meet his Northern KY classmates.  She will also be "meeting" (or re-meeting) those wonderfully special people at Cardinal Hill who pulled and pushed our injured angel through excruciatingly difficult, and at the end, sad days when she began shutting down emotionally.  Hillary called her Cardinal Hill nurses this week and after 45 minutes on the phone together I bet they are ready to tell her lots more stories.  We can't wait and we sincerely ask for your prayers of support for God's plan and safety for all. 

In the mean time....here is one million and one and just the next play of Max's Mother's Day card.  This proud mother totally remembers each play, but just enjoys it so much she has to hear it quite often. The envelope is ragged but that makes it all the more special.  After viewing for herself one of the many videos we have in a collection of "Hillary moments" we need, she asked me to tell you that her slow speech  (quote) "does not mean I am stupid.  I am very smart. I just can't get my words out quickly".  In light of her progress, we believe her speech pattern will someday be fully restored as well.  In fact, we think she is unbelievably close! 

 

XOXOXO

--Shawn

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We can't wait to for next Friday.  Mommy is working hard to let the summer fun begin.

I am getting so bad about updating each of you on our girl's progress.  Things are very busy around here on so many fronts.  Most importantly, Hillary is busy with work and play.  (She insists on the play...she is getting stir crazy from being at home for so long)  By day she is walking and working through therapy.  Each one of her therapists say this was her best week yet on every level...and we think so, too.  I will update more this weekend, but for now please take a look at Hillary as she visited with Dr. Rommelman and as she works hard with Hope, her physical therapist.  They have her ready to walk into her son's school and take him home for his first summer visit. 

Dr Rommelman watching another one of His miracles (and his too!)

We are going to have a talk with Hope to get Mommy ready for swimming.  Dr. Rommelman already said a paddle boat will be great exercise!  

More to come....

Hope and Hillary talking about hair

Look at those perfect steps and pace

Notice its a cane!!!!!

XOXOX

--Shawn

Click on her song she loves on the speaker  Click again when you are finished with the slide show.  It will go on forever if you don't click the speaker icon the second time.

More below

 

I know every mother has had their own special day and their own perfect gift that means more to them than they thought possible.  And I know you understand how wonderful this Mother’s Day has been for our family; knowing we almost missed the chance to celebrate two very special mothers in our lives….Hillary, and my mother, Jessie (AKA Maw).  I wonder how many times each one of us has silently thanked God for the joy of this day-- instead of the pain and sadness we could have been feeling.  I also apologize for reveling in our happiness, as I know so many of you are missing your own mothers or daughters…even sisters today. 

 

We promise to honor your loved ones by always striving to do our best to be thankful for those special moments we have together…..and to cherish those gifts.  The tangible and intangible presents we get that bind us even more to each other and to God.  And they are the reminders of the unconditional love we must have for each other as He has for us….always.

 

Here is mine…..and here is Hillary’s 

 

Happy, Happy Mother’s Day from all of us

 

My Gift--My daughther dancing with her father

 

and Hillary's...

 

 

 

Hillary's gift --She plays his amazing words over and over