September 29, 2009

• In Honor of our Girl–Honoring Others

  In Honor of our Girl….Honoring the Staff and Families of Vanderbilt 10 North

   

  I was on the phone yesterday with Ashley when she casually mentioned the things she had going on that morning.  Among her many errands she had stopped by our old home away from home….Vanderbilt’s 10 North Trauma Family Waiting Room.  She had told me some time ago this “stop” would be a regular on her list of things to do each month now that she had decided to become a stay at home Mom.  Apparently she walked off the elevator with an Edible Arrangement in one hand and a lot of hope in the other for the many families in wait there.  She wanted to let them know it had been two years since her sister’s near fatal car crash and resulting traumatic brain injury. And like them…those broken hearted families and friends….we had been “there” too.   She wanted them to know we had been in those same recliners, day after day, night after night; and we, too, had held our breath every moment waiting for some tiny sign of progress and hope for our injured angel.

   

  I think Ashley was surprised to see the pictures of her sister hanging on the wall there…especially the one with Paul from those very early days in the Unit.  But as she pointed to those painful images of our past, she was able to also share so much about the days of Hillary’s recovery journey and she gave them what they wanted and needed ….she gave them hope.

   

  

  And while the hope she gave was not a promise of the ultimate healing of their patients, she certainly assured them their loved ones were in the best hands in the world….Vanderbilt’s Trauma Team.  And then she told them Hillary’s healing was also the power of prayer given tirelessly from our loved ones –our family and friends who continue to ask God to surround her with His power and strength every day.  Soon after Ashley began sharing our family’s story of hope and comfort one young woman asked her, “Could I hug you?”  The hug was just as important to Ashley.  She knew it was really a hug meant for Hillary.  (I know it was a hug meant for both of them.)

   

  (Images used in VU TSN.org posters)

   

  She shared the importance of Vanderbilt’s Trauma Survivors Network with the families…she shared Hillablog with them…told them the best way to “out fox” the Vandy elevators…suggested links to a couple of questions around “next steps” legally for their families (things we would NEVER have thought we would know prior to 9/1/07), and then dropped the important chocolate covered strawberries off to the nurses before heading out.

   

  It had been a couple of rough days last week, taking us back to places we shouldn’t have been before….and certainly not now.  Emotions had run high again and at a time when we wanted to celebrate Hillary’s homecoming in every way.  But when Paul and I discussed this powerful visit our daughter had made in honor of her sister, our family and our loving friends, we both became so emotional and it was the release of everything negative and the victory for everything good.  We know with our whole hearts how powerful those minutes—her words were for those aching families.  And we had lost sight of what truly mattered in the last few days.  Ashley and the families and staff of 10 North had brought us back again.

   

  When we told Hillary about Ashley’s visit she said, “I have to go see those people again and I want to visit with some of the families.  How is Brad Gardner…Isn’t that his name?  Do you know?”  I thought my eyes would pop out of my head.  Brad had been a TBI patient many months ago that both Hillary and I had visited.  She had remembered him and our visit. 

   

  Our girl is getting well…a little more every single day.  Our friend Lacy White had visited with Hillary on Sunday and as we talked about Hillary’s progress she said she had spoken to someone who asked about Hillary’s cognitive and physical abilities.  Lacy told the person, “If you have seen her from the earliest of months you would be blown away by her progress.”  She went on to say,  “If you have never seen her since the crash and saw her out now you would probably say…”Oh….I just don’t know…..I’m not sure she will ever be OK.”  We agree with her assessment completely.  But she keeps proving to us she will be OK.

   

  So true to our new pop-up format as promised….here is another one.  These continue to help us collect who she is…and proof of how she keeps coming back to us in often unusual ways. 

   

  Hillary has forgotten voice intonation.  She doesn’t remember the natural progression of pitch and voice inflection when speaking.  As a matter of fact, just about a week ago, her speech therapist Emily listed voice intonation as a goal for Hillary…much to our delight!  Last night Hillary asked a question of her dad in a very monotone manner…again, typical of Hillary’s current speech pattern.  I asked her to state it again but giving her example of the natural voice rhythms and pitches most of us use without thinking about it; albeit mine was a little over dramatized.  She immediately asked the question again in perfect ebb and flow (and pitch) of her normal pre-crash speech pattern.  It was AWESOME!  It’s just another proof that the brain must be re-educated so it can re-program what it already knew before injury.  With her love of music, we still believe music therapy will be key to re-wiring this part of her brain to impact her speech pattern.  And while she loves all types of music, we aren’t sure the sounds in rap will be particularly helpful in reaching the highs and lows needed to regain that sweet sound of Hillary’s voice pattern. 

   

  To Ashley’s (and now our) new friends in the Trauma Family Waiting Room, here are some of your requested sites

   

  KENTUCKY

  Kentucky Protection and Advocacy

  www.kypa.net

  Client Assistance Program

  http://kycap.ky.gov

   

  TENNESSEE

  Disability Law & Advocacy Center of

  Tennessee

  www.DLACTN.org

   

  National Disabilities Rights Network/TBI advocates

  Protection & Advocacy for Individuals with Disabilities

  http://www.ndrn.org/issues/tbi/statewatch

   

  Vanderbilt’s Trauma Survivors Network

  MyTSN.org

   

  Brain Injury Association (directory of state associations and advocacy/related state legislation)

  http://www.biausa.org/

   

  
  Hang in there!!!

   

  XOXOX

   

  Shawn

   

   

  • 11:57 pm
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