April 26, 2008

• “Ms.YaYa Goes to Washington.”  And now Mommy and Aunt Ashley are having a slumber party. We’ll all have one with you next weekend, Max. 

  

  It was an amazing week in DC for Hillary and others who are impacted in so many ways by trauma.  Trauma not only encompasses the one injured in an accident, but their families are considered trauma survivors as well; called the “second trauma”.  Second trauma victims’ lives are changed in a split second—though we often think only of the accident victims.  This week I heard a psychologist from Johns Hopkins say, “Trauma is like the draft.  You didn’t ask for it, want it, or plan for it….. But you are drafted and in it and there is no way out of it.”   Just a few weeks ago a woman told me (in different words) that the residuals of Hillary’s trauma and changes resulting in Max’s life (and those taking care of Max right now) are the result of “Hillary’s very bad choices.”  (I believe she was referring to the the lack of seatbelt use that day)  I don’t think Hillary chose to be in an accident….nor did Bob and his sons in his first trauma years ago…..or his wife’s debilitating accident seven years later.    And I don’t think my new friend Pam would say her then thirteen year old son made a bad decision when their family was thrust into trauma survivorship through a car accident on his way home from school.   Their trauma and ours were horrible irreversible accidents….and only that.  So obviously, Hillary and Max (and the rest of our family and others in the family of trauma) are always in my heart and in my discussions with every exciting step of what is happening in DC this week.  But the important strategy discussions and presented plans for trauma survivor resources which are quickly unfolding will support so many more in the future.   Our soldiers in Iraq are dealing with thousands of traumatic brain injuries and we owe so much to them and to their “second trauma” families who love and support them and their care needs.  Hillary would never believe she has played such an important part in the rights for them and others….and only because she is a sweet and beautiful young mother who has a story to tell.  There are so many more stories which need to be shared around our region and around the world.  Within our own state, the Kentucky General Assembly is expected to move quickly in the right direction (we hope!) for establishing a much needed trauma system and ensured rights for trauma survivors and their families. With enormous pressure building from hospitals and medical professionals across the state, it appears Hillary’s story will play a significant role there as well.  Our family is so honored to be surrounded by such important, caring people.   And it’s wonderful to hear our elected officials say sponsoring such legislative change is the absolutely right thing to do.  (More to come in a week or two)

  But for now, our two oldest girls are going to take over Hillablog.  Paul and I are locked away and totally on vacation for the weekend, while Ashley and Hillary (and friends) are at home together.  Last evening my “boyfriend” Paul and I sat knee to knee on bar stools, enjoying a late dinner and a cocktail together as we talked and talked until the place was about to close.  And as we continued the discussion in our weekend room, it hit us: We were like a couple of young parents on vacation that couldn’t stop talking about their young children.  The discussions then (and now) were filled with the latest great thing one of the children had done that both of us already knew about.  And weren’t these the same kids we needed a break from….then and now?  What is it about parents when they finally get their much needed weekend away and time to reconnect with each other, that they spend so much of the precious time talking about those kids?!?!?

  So it’s no more talking this weekend about what is unfolding for legislation and resources around Hillary and Max’s rights and the rights of other parents and children of trauma….well at least not until I tell him a couple of more things I forgot last night. Oh and I have to remind myself to tell him about a mother who was in a coma and though she made no signs of response to her medical team and family, she could hear each person in her room for weeks.  As they continued to tell her all was well with her children, she assumed they were lying to her trying to “bring her back” instead of revealing the likely death of her children.  Though her children were severely injured and unable to come to their mother’s beside, all are fine now.   

  So with Paul promising not to talk much longer about Hillary’s progress from the week… (though I promised he could tell me more about Hillary climbing steps to the salon yesterday with Gretchen)….  we have absolutely decided after listening to each other’s voice messages from Hillary and our other kids  (about Hillary), we are going to totally stop thinking about anything else about kids.  Oh, except when he comes back upstairs I have just one more story to tell him about what Ashley told me they were all going to do last night.  And now he’s saying I HAVE to hear about what she told him about Max yesterday… And then there are the cognitive test results we can’t wait to see.    We’re hopeless!

  Thank you for staying with our family through your continued prayers for Hillary and Max.

  XOXOXO

  –Shawn

   

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