After planning only one day back home in Paducah, I had been strongly encouraged by my family to stay there one more evening. Some of my girlfriends had graciously transported me both ways making the trip a wonderful “vacation” with much needed laughter and town stories. What would women do without their girlfriends? Mine mean the world to me and Hillary and I are going to be much better at being girlfriends to others when she and I can walk out of this nightmare together.
It was on my return trip when I heard about Hillary’s new behavior. Ashley called to say Hillary was extremely agitated…red face and all! Ashley had felt helpless as she watched Hillary move her arms and legs up and down: then repeating the moves over and over again. When nurse Will (stands for WOW—I learned loads) entered Spa #31 to observe, he said, “She’s pissed off!” (Now I’m going to be in trouble when my mother reads this because she hates that word, but it is exactly what Will said… so I’m saying it, too) Hillary is pissed off! Though we can’t know for sure, it appears she doesn’t understand what is happening to her and why she can’t get out of that bed. She does move her right arm and right leg in fairly large motions and repetitively while her left arm and leg are also moving better. WOW Will (he’s so intelligent) explained as her brain begins to reroute its signals to learn new ways to do things, she may continue to do things repetitively once she discovers how to do “them”. Unfortunately, Hillary may not know what she’s doing when she is doing “them”, but she knows she is sending the signal to do “them” right now. Therefore, when the signal comes back to her brain she says “SUCCESS!” and does “them” again. My ENG 101 TA (almost professor) would laugh out loud if he read these last few sentences. He hated the way I wrote….or have I already told you that?
Hillary’s agitation seems to come in waves. She literally tries to come out of the bed, though she can only raise her shoulders a couple of inches. She likes to move her right arm over her shoulder stretching it as much as possible now and then. It was Ashley who found the way to calm her through these waves of anger, discomfort, frustration or whatever they are. Ashley explained to Hillary that Paul and I wanted to be there and that I was on my way back; with Dad just a day or so behind. Ashley went on to say, “They both want to be here with you, but I think I can help until they arrive.” Ashley took a cloth and sprayed it with Paul’s cologne. She then laid the “Dad cloth” at Hillary’s head telling her it was her Dad’s scent and that it would be right beside her until he could be there. And then Hillary relaxed and went to sleep. Paul does smell great, but more importantly he has the same calming effect on each of us. Just ask our grandson why he used to run and hide if his Paul Paul was going to put him to bed. That sweet boy would fall asleep almost the minute Paul touched him…completely counter to what he had in mind. And every night of our lives when together at bedtime, Paul just puts his hand on me and I begin to relax my way to sleep. Last evening I tried the same “Paul scent and touch therapy” for her when nothing else seemed to work, and she immediately relaxed and slept her way into a better “place” all through the night.
Our girl has had no fever in days and her blood pressure, heart rate and oxygen levels are great. Her tracheostomy was downsized and she is at least making vocal sounds of sighs and moans; though she is unable to speak– even if her injured brain could be ready, but it is not. Her white count is down to 12K which is so close to the 5K-10K range she needs. Your prayers worked and the clinical trial from Angel Judy Jenkins (and J&J and Ortho-McNeil and Vanderbilt) at least to the Coltharps, is already a success (and Godsend) on so many levels. Her right leg has been cast and today they will split the sides making it more of a splint to ensure her positioning of that leg is correct. She moves both legs fairly well, but the right one VERY well even though it bears a cast. (We are beginning to watch out for her kick on that side.) Her eyes are open a great deal of the time and yesterday she began tracking somewhat… particularly following a picture of her son in her arms. She also has looked towards someone entering the room on occasion. Unfortunately, none of these things are guaranteed. Nor is any response like thumbs up or prompted squeezes of the hands now. Paul and I realized we are not sure we have seen her hand/thumb responsive since the day of her pneumothorax when her lung was nicked. Yet even that “physical crash” was a Godsend, since it was the bronchoscope surrounding that day which discovered her extremely serious bacteria infection.
Hillary no longer has 24-7 liquid food but instead she is fed every 6 hours. She would be glad to hear this since constant feeding would concern her that she might gain weight. Oh Lord, how I hope that obsession of hers might be one of the things gone when Hillary –Part DEUX arrives! And maybe Part Deux will really see herself in the mirror instead of the unattractive overweight girl she seemed to always see. The right temporal lobe and Hillary’s brain trauma area houses our short term memory and some vision. Perhaps her vision was “off” already and the “adjustment” will let her see the beauty inside and out she always was….the part that draws you to her even more now. Somehow I already know that is what she is going to find out about herself once she comes back to us.
While I hate the description Super Hero Barry gave us about Hillary’s current state, I think he is probably right on target. Hillary seems to be in a box with no understanding of how to get out. I spent a few hours reviewing materials our wonderful friend Kristie Helm shared with us from her work at Frazier Rehab Institute in Louisville. The information on brain injuries highlights behavior much like Hillary’s as a level in Rancho’s Scale. I hope that is true and that she is quickly moving out of this one and on to another higher level soon. Our friend Russ shared a story today about a friend of his who was in a terrible accident. When he was in the hospital unable to “come back” neurologically, the friend says he thought he had been a captive and his captors where giving him mind control drugs through the IVs the doctors and nurses administered for his recovery. We are stating over and over to Hillary that she is in the hospital after an accident and that she is doing OK and getting better every day. It’s important to tell her she has the tracheotomy in her throat which makes her unable to speak. And we tell her over and over again of your love and kisses and stories you have asked us to share.
Maybe the best news of today is that Hillary’s case manager, Joy, just stuck her head in Spa #31 and said…”We’re working on some things for Hillary, so don’t worry about where she may going right this minute. Her financing is killing us…but we’re working on it”. Joy is excellent at her job and just another angel sent to us from God and Vanderbilt University Medical Center’s Trauma Unit. As Hillary would say, “Yippee Skippee!!!!” These Coltharp women (AKA “The Committee”) love to get excited and celebrate the good things in life…even if we become disappointed later. Who would EVER want to miss grabbing those happy moments, if only for a short while?!?! (The Coltharp men are not in total agreement with this philosophy and would rather hold back just a bit fearing later disappointment.) Today the whole family (men and women) are going to celebrate that Hillary has hope, and better health, a possible chance at a good place to reside for now, and a world of people praying for her every need—every hour.
Thank you for every prayer!
XOXOXO
–Shawn
PS—OK, I know I was the slacker yesterday and didn’t give you an update. Thank goodness, you were not! We received several hundred notes yesterday assuring us you were still praying and we thank you from the bottom of our hearts for that. I’ll try to do better at holding up my end of the bargain 
)
